Learning to Ride (all over again)

At the risk of sounding cliché, I’ll state the obvious—a truth I’ve known my entire life: those who admire and love horses are affected by equines on every level—mind, body and soul. Horses own us more than we own them. The rewards of working and playing with them are fulfilling in every way.

Since I was a child, my thoughts and dreams over-flowed with images of horses. Captured in art and photography, and in my own life and memory, they have fascinated me. Horses in motion are graceful, powerful, capricious. Who doesn’t stop to watch them gallop by? I observe from my side of the fence, even today, after 50 years of equines, I am captivated. Horses occupy my mind daily. They are my friends and colleagues. The many I have loved and lost – live on, close to my heart.

Horses evoke deep emotion and passion within us. The drama of life in the herd offers metaphors to human life, acted out honestly and openly. Many of the important lessons I learned were taught by horses, some with gentleness and integrity, others with brute force.

And so, I lived my life with horses central to the core of it until something happened. It occurred gradually, but somehow came as a complete shock to me. It was totally unexpected, not in my life plan at all. It changed my relationship with horses, and thus, my life, and even my friendships, dramatically.

Quite simply, my hips quit working. How could this happen to me?! Simply mounting a horse brought intense pain. Two hours in the saddle were all I could tolerate. My source of joy became a cause of despair. I struggled to hide it, to gallop bravely on. How could my body fail me in this way?

I focused on carriage driving—but eventually, even climbing onto the carriage became difficult.

So, three months ago, I took the plunge—total hip replacement, both hips, at the same time.

Now, after decades of being a rider, I’m a beginner again. The first time I got back on a horse, six weeks post surgery, I had butterflies (Me! Afraid to ride??!). Suddenly, I could relate, very personally, to all the beginners I have ever taught. I had fear. Will I stay on? Can I do this? What if the horse does something unexpected? What if I hit the ground hard? Is my muscle memory intact? Is this a crazy thing to do?

Five minutes later, I was posting the trot. What a relief! Total joy! I’m not sure if the sun came out, but I believe it did! I remember thinking, “I’m glowing!” The life I love came rushing back to me. I was well.

This month, at Blackberry Farm, our focus is on wellness. To this, I am committed. And as I build strength and regain something lost, I encourage you to find again the things you may be missing, to live the life you hope to live. And if any part of that includes riding a horse, come find me. We’ll learn together. Mind, body and soul.

Carla Hawkinson, Equestrian Program Manager, chawkinson@blackberryfarm.com 865.273.8545